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  • Everything’s Bound to Happen Twice

    Many years later, as she breathed in fresh air under a new star, Colonel Mary Leigh Russell remembered a distant afternoon when her father had shown her aliens on TV. 

    She was playing with dolls, as many children do, when her father called from his workshop.

    “Mary,” he asked, “Can you help with something?”

    Mary slipped into slippers, walked to the workshop, weaved between shelves stuffed with books and gizmos and piles of ancient newspapers. An old television flickered on a desk in the corner, it’s screen distended from the faux-wood console.

    “What do you think of that?” her father asked, pointing to the screen. 

    She sat in the office chair in front of the TV. 

    “I don’t know what that is,” she squinted at the screen. “It’s grainy. Did you break it?” 

    “No, no,” he said. Pulling up on a stool, he sat next to her. “That’s an old TV, right? Back then you could see the pixels without a microscope.” 

    “Got it!” she scooted closer. 

    “Oh! No. Don’t sit so close,” he said far too loud. “Sorry. It’s…not healthy.”

    Pushing back her chair, she asked, “What is that?” 

    “Aliens, maybe?” He shrugged. 

    “They look like it.”

    “Kind of crab-like.”

    “But the fur!”

    “Are there furry crabs?”

    “I don’t know.”

    They watched for a moment. 

    “Let’s pretend we’re scientists.” He stood, perfected posture, and addressed her formally. “Doctor.” 

    “Doctor,” she said, all super serious and stuff. She tried to keep her face still, but a giggle eeked out. 

    “Do we need a hypothesis?” Dad asked. “Tell me more about these guys.”

    “Are you sure they’re boys, Doctor Dad?” 

    “Good point, Doctor Kid.”

    “Mx. Thompson in Media Literacy told us about ‘priming.’”

    “Is that what they’re teaching you in school?”

    “Sometimes,” she said.  “Do they have a head?” 

    “They look flat.” Dr Dad said, “Like a fat plate on stilts.”

    She was quiet for a moment, still, then tilted her head. “I hear something. Are they talking?” 

    He upped the volume. The noises sounded silly at first, too silly, really.

    She stopped, her face serious. “Wait, is this real? Is this from the Internet?”

    “Excellent question. That media literacy, again?” He asked. 

    She nodded. “You can’t trust the Internet.”

    “You can’t. But it is real. The technology is, like, 200 years old.” He shrugged. “I guess, in a big enough universe, everything is bound to happen twice.” 

    Self-satisfaction slid across his face.That’s clever. 

    For the next hour, Russell’s father and her watched the TV, talking about the aliens who would be called The Neighbors. They talked about the fur colors and patterns. They appeared unique. But not all of them had fur. They all did have, around their circular bodies, three sets of two limbs. The ones that did not have fur were mostly  green with red spots. 

    They gestured with the limbs, some of which appeared to have various numbers of fingers and positioned. 

    Turning back to TV, a peculiar thing appeared: Bam Margera beating up his dad. Her dad looked horrified, as if someone had gone back decades through his social media feeds. Though, to the Margeras’ credit, how many humans have ever been the subject of extraterrestrial broadcasts?

    At the left of the screen, a smattering of symbols scrolled rapidly down from the top. They both noticed it, but she was the one to ask, “Dad, does this mean they know about us?”

    The next week, Mary’s entire school was called to the gym. Tablets were confiscated and everyone was to watch the President’s address. The president’s dark suit and plain backdrop and had been standard fare since politics in what used to be the United States made an aggressive turn toward minimalism in political decor and decorum since 2030s. 

    “My fellow Chicagoans, we have the answer to a question many people have asked over millennia. Are we alone in the universe? A few days ago, the universe was unfathomably vast; now we have stellar neighbors 18 light-years from Earth. Compared to many systems, Gliese 251 is in our ‘galactic back yard.’” They even did the finger-quote thing. 

    “Chat, always be aware of fake footage. Like many items on the Internet, frequencies shared may not be accurate or may point to artificially generated content. Check government Web Pages for verified frequencies.”

    The president took a breath. 

    “Finally, we know now that humanity is not alone. But we also know they also know of us.”

    Thankfully, since the first night, there were less embarrassing segments; the president chose a clip about one of their predecessors to share. 

    “Leaders all around the world are largely unified that  We must remain united as humans. We must prepare for when we meet our neighbors, either by our choice, or theirs.”

    “Thank you.”

    Decades later, Mary Leigh Russell was sent by another President. And then, after decades more, she traveled the 20 light-years between the starts. And now Russell scanned an unfamiliar landscape for dust of The Neighbor’s hovercrafts.  

    “There it is,” someone said over the headset. “Due west.”

    She turned and waited, for the last time, to meet the aliens her father had shown her. “Got it.” 

    She had been talking to several of The Neighbors on the approach, and everyone agreed it was promising. They appeared to be friendly, but there was always a chance it could go off the rails. 

    She allowed herself a moment to experience the world, ticking off her senses. It smelled like the playas in Outer Cascadia, decades ago and 18 light-years away. The mountains looked like normal mountains to Russell; but the mission’s geologists were ecstatic at the details. The horizon arced shallowly. The higher gravity pulled her down, leaving as if she had gained a half dozen kilos. The sky felt too large. A heavy wind across touched her like a stranger, unfamiliar after the journey across space. 

    Around a bluff appeared the vehicles, wide and squat to the ground. The sensory overload, the sense of history, and all the emotions buzzed with an intense low-frequency static of anxiety. She had to say the words she had written 10 years ago repeating until it became meaningless. 

    Then Russell spoke aloud to nobody, but also, eventually, to everybody, when the transmission made it to earth. “We will meet the Neighbors soon. Each of us takes a small step towards interstellar civilization, and together, we take a giant leap for both of our kinds.” 

    The hovercrafts slowed to a stop a dozen or so meters away, settling heavily into the ground. The dust made the new sun a vivid, deep, dark red, pasted in the sky like a wafer. 

    Part of a Series of Indeterminate Length and Density.

  • clouds of meaning: A layman’s hypothesis

    We’re damn lucky language works at all.

    The chairs

    Imagine people saying “chair.” Each speaker has a precise idea of their chair.

    The chairs are different, but most people would agree they are chairs. That word does not provide more information without context or reason (e.g., kitchen, office).

    There is no reason to limit this vagueness to chairs. Or even just all nouns, this vagueness of definition happens across nearly all words.

    The Pointer Analogy

    If you think idea is a restatement of “the map is not the territory”, I acknowledge the influence on my thinking.

    In lower-level computer programming (C, specifically), there is this notion of a “pointer.” A pointer “points” to a memory address. Let us see words as pointers to “ideas” and those ideas live in, for want of a better word, an “idea space”. Except ideas are not the same as words. Ideas are blobs of meaning. Words just point to one spot within that blob.

    This is a powerful tool in the right hands. And a dangerous one if in the wrong hands. Probably like a lot of things.

    This makes sense if we have a thought experiment: if you have two people who do not know a language who are forced to communicate. They use body language and pointing and basic words. These things are not universal grammars, as some would suggest. They would point to the chair and use their words.

    The Contract

    This, of course, presumes that both people want to communicate. If there is dishonesty at any part of this, the whole process can fall apart. We must not only assume honesty in communication, but a willingness to try to make it work.

    We can imagine an early homo sapiens pointing to a suitably-shaped stump and calling it whatever word she used for “chair” and having someone else understand exactly what she’s saying. Fortunately , we can imagine many things, but evidence is required to believe.

    If words are pointers, we are pointing them to slightly different address in an “idea space”. Your chair is still a chair, but it’s not my chair.

    this does not mean the word is unclear; it’s just a pointer. Our words are not magic nam-shubs, directing the goddess Inanna to change reality. Language is actions, noises, and gestures beings make to share an idea.

    We can continue the communication, obviously. We can guide the language ever more closely to the same part of idea space. Can we reach it? More importantly: does it matter? Once the idea has been transferred to our mutual satisfaction, we will stop.

    The Stop

    Stopping is important. It signals an understanding or an abandonment of that effort. But even in stopping, a larger context could give more information.

    If I stop listening to you, there is a difference between me wanting to talk vs me with a question that halts my cognition vs a sudden and fatal heart attack.

    The Hypothesis

    Many people smarter than I have advanced theories of linguistics, with such things as a universal grammar. Their stature vs my own is certainly a concern, but that is about me and not about the topic.

    IThe idea itself feels stupid simple. Like, there has to be more than just pointing and making a noise until the other person gets it.

    What happens when we think of the development of language as an evolution of ways to communicate? What does that metaphor imply?

    I don’t know. But I think about it a lot. It means some things about the future. It means that we’re using words to create structures they were never meant to hold up.

    Also, can we even call that a hypothesis? Everyone has their own definitions of words and our methods of communication continue to change, it’s a banal observation.

    And sometimes you write a few hundred words without knowing why.

  • How to read these posts

    • Presume unironic honesty.
    • Formats are fluid.
    • My writing tends toward tangents; I will try to organize things in a clear, consistent way.
    • Don’t take it too seriously.
    • Ideas explored are not endorsements. Honest endorsements are noted.
    • Dear God, please don’t start a cult without me.

  • first post

    Why did I start a blog in 2025? I may as well have started a podcast.

    Let’s not push any luck. Why ain’t I putting these right on the Substack or some automated shit? But no. Instead, here I am, wondering if I can do that and complaining that I can’t when I probably can.

    Anyway. This isn’t for real reading. More for posterity.